I recently had a conversation with a potential client who asked about how he could save on spousal support by proving that his wife cheated on him.
First, if you encounter an attorney who tells you that ordinary fault, such as cheating, abandonment, etc., are a defense against your obligation to give your spouse their legal entitlement to support, distribution of protect, etc., please run. NOW.
The fact that your spouse cheated on you, was not a good spouse, abandoned you, failed to have marital relations with you, etc., does not erase your obligation to support that person if the obligation is required by law.
For fault to be a basis for you to get out of paying support, the fault must be so terrible as to shock the conscience of a judge. Cheating will not normally shock a judge—judges hear stories of spouses who cheat all the time. However, there are circumstances which may rise to the level of completely absolving a paying spouse of his/her obligation to support the non-monied spouse. Generally, those circumstances would rise to the level of egregious crimes.
Now, it is more likely that there are reasons to minimize your spousal support obligation for reasons which an attorney can help you navigate, than to eliminate spousal support totally.
So, it is important for you to discuss these issues with an attorney who will not just tell you what you want to hear, but who will help you “Turn Fear Into Power When Happily Ever After Fades Away®.”