We often fall into the same old communication patterns with our ex-spouses, or soon-to-be ex spouses, as we did when we were married to them. The communication routines we establish during marriage need to change after separation. For example, the control you allowed your ex to have over you should not, and does not need to, continue once you’ve separated. In fact, the “that's what we've always done” stuff shouldn’t continue if what you've always done no longer serves you or your family.
You see, the past behaviors are in the rearview mirror of your life, and although, they may seem close, your focus should be on the front view windshield of creating new norms, new habits, new behaviors and new dreams you have for yourself and your newly constituted family.
Take this opportunity to realize that your past is not as close as you think it is, but only as close as you allow it to be. Here's to hoping that this tip helps you turn your fear into power when happily ever after fades away.