Divorce is hard, but it can be especially challenging for husbands and fathers. Whether it’s fighting for custody or safeguarding financial and property rights, men often face biases from judges, mediators, and attorneys that make reaching a fair outcome harder than it should be. If you are a husband or father in New York or New Jersey, you can turn to Dow Divorce Law for guidance through this next phase of your life. We understand the unique challenges men face during divorce and separations, and we are ready to provide the advocacy you require. Contact a divorce lawyer for men here at Dow Divorce Law for an initial consultation today.
What Are the Grounds for a Divorce in New York and New Jersey?
To obtain a divorce, you will need to articulate specific grounds or reasons for divorce to the court. These grounds may differ from state to state, but our team is prepared to handle them all.
Grounds for Divorce in New York
New York recognizes seven grounds for divorce.
- Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage: Often called no-fault divorce, this means the marriage must have experienced difficulties, making it impossible or untenable to remain married, and those issues must have lasted at least six months or more.
- Cruel and inhuman treatment: A spouse must show that specific acts of cruelty have occurred in the previous five years. Having arguments or not getting along does not suffice. The cruelty must be so severe that the victim’s mental or physical health is endangered and it’s not safe for them to keep living with the other spouse, as in issues of domestic violence. Many men do not seek help for domestic violence, but if you believe you are in a dangerous home environment, it is time to speak up.*
- Abandonment: If one spouse has abandoned the other for at least one year, the abandoned spouse can invoke this ground. Abandonment includes actually leaving the marital home with no intent to return or refusing to have sexual relations (constructive abandonment), without the consent of the other party, and for no legitimate basis.
- Imprisonment: This ground is available if one spouse has been in prison for three or more consecutive years. The period of incarceration must have begun after the spouses were married. A spouse can use this if the other spouse is actively incarcerated or up to five years after the spouse’s release from prison.
- Adultery: A spouse can show that the other spouse committed adultery and use this as a basis for divorce. However, someone other than the two spouses must provide evidence of the affair.
- Divorce after legal separation: In this scenario, the spouses will sign and file a valid separation agreement, live separate and apart for at least one year, and then file for divorce.
- Divorce after judgment of separation: This is a rare ground that is also known as conversion. The New York Supreme Court must enter a judgment of separation, followed by the one-year separation period, and then file for divorce.
Grounds for Divorce in New Jersey
New Jersey recognizes similar grounds that fall into these categories:
- No-fault or Irreconcilable Differences: The irreconcilable differences must persist for at least six months, must be the basis of wanting the divorce, and the plaintiff spouse must be certain there will be no reconciliation.
- Separation: This means the spouses have been living apart for at least 18 months.
- Extreme cruelty: This is similar to the New York definition.
- Abandonment: If one spouse abandons the other for at least 12 months without justification or legal cause, with evidence that the two have ceased spousal cohabitation, this ground may be used.
- Drug or alcohol abuse: Addiction to drugs or habitual drunkenness for 12 or more consecutive months is sufficient for this ground.
- Institutionalization: This is used when one spouse has been institutionalized in a facility to treat mental illness for at least 24 consecutive months.
- Imprisonment: Use of this ground requires that a spouse be incarcerated for 18 or more consecutive months. The term of imprisonment must begin after the marriage begins. The spouses must not resume cohabitation if they wish to assert this ground.
- Adultery: As in New York, this can be challenging to prove.
- Deviant sexual conduct: The defendant spouse must engage in what the law recognizes as “deviant sexual conduct” without the plaintiff spouse’s consent.
Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce
A contested divorce occurs when either spouse does not want to get divorced or the spouses cannot agree on all of the terms of divorce. The judge will encourage the spouses to work out a resolution of all issues between each other, and this is possible with mediation or court conferences. However, if the two cannot ultimately agree, the court will hold a hearing or trial.
An uncontested divorce means the spouses agree on how to resolve issues related to property division, child support, child custody, and spousal support. It also requires that the other (defendant) spouse either does not object to the divorce or fails to respond to it.
What is the Divorce Process?
The specifics of the divorce process vary between New York and New Jersey, but the general steps involved are:
- Meeting the residency requirements: Both states have their own residency requirements that must be met before either spouse can seek divorce. In New Jersey, either spouse must live in the state for at least 12 consecutive months. Meanwhile, in New York, there are several ways to meet the requirement, depending on the facts of your case.
- Articulate the grounds for divorce: Next, you must determine which grounds you will assert for your divorce. This requires input from knowledgeable legal counsel. Speak to our team about your rights and which grounds may apply in your case.
- Decide between contested and uncontested divorce: The path you choose will depend on whether you and your spouse can resolve everything without the court’s intervention. If so, you can choose an uncontested divorce; otherwise, you will seek a contested divorce.
- File for divorce and serve the papers: Once you decide which type of divorce works best for you, your attorney will file the Summons and other necessary paperwork and serve it on the other spouse. This begins the litigation process and leads to subsequent court filings by both spouses.
- Conduct discovery: Discovery is the formal process by which the parties to a divorce request and exchange relevant information and documents. Whatever is uncovered through discovery may be useful in mediation or at a trial or hearing.
- Participate in mediation: You can choose to mediate your divorce prior to filing for divorce if you wish to try to reach an amicable settlement. This is important if you want an uncontested divorce. Or, you can mediate after the divorce paperwork is filed. Either way, if the mediation is successful, you will reach a settlement agreement that resolves the issues in your marriage. Your attorney can represent you during mediation.
- Go to trial: Spouses can settle their divorce at any time prior to trial. But if this isn’t possible, or circumstances (e.g., domestic violence) make it unfeasible, then the court will need to conduct a trial. This requires presentation of evidence and witness testimony, and it is strongly advised that you have legal representation.
Key Considerations in a Divorce
Before commencing your divorce, there are a few important things to keep in mind:
- Can you and your spouse really get along? Even if your relationship seems civil now, it could break down later. Or conflict may arise after the divorce proceedings are over. This could have major ramifications for child support, alimony, and more.
- What kind of evidence do you have? If you are alleging fault, you will need evidence to support your claims. But you may also need evidence to refute false allegations made against you. Our attorneys are ready to use discovery and other tools to get the evidence you need.
- Do you have a high-net-worth divorce? Men who have major financial assets such as investments, significant retirement accounts, and businesses need special attention to their legal needs. We are experienced with these matters and ready to serve you.
- Is mediation possible? Mediation can save you time, money, and stress. However, it is only as effective as the spouses are willing to make it. We can guide you through mediation and help you decide whether to settle or go to trial.
- Is an uncontested divorce possible? If you can settle everything with your spouse and seek an uncontested divorce, it will save considerable time and money. We will work for an uncontested divorce, if possible.
How a Divorce Lawyer for Men Can Help
Even if you and your spouse agree on how to settle the above and related matters, you should retain legal counsel to assist you. This is especially true for men. The terms of your separation agreement will have legal implications for you moving forward. If you don’t understand these terms or the agreement is worded poorly, you could jeopardize your rights long-term.
Having a divorce lawyer who represents men is even more pertinent in high-conflict divorce. You could face false accusations, biased judges and lawyers, and mediators who simply do not understand you. No matter what sort of divorce you are facing, or how contentious it is, our family law firm is here to work with you through the process and protect your best interests along the way.
Areas of Divorce We Handle
Divorce is more than terminating a marriage. The spouses must address a series of other issues through settlement negotiations or in court. We represent men in the following divorce-related matters:
- Child Custody: This issue concerns which parent will have legal and physical custody of the child and how parenting time will be shared.
- Child Visitation: The parent who is not awarded primary custody of the child is typically granted visitation rights in accordance with a parenting schedule.
- Child Support: State guidelines determine most child support cases. The parents’ income, the number of children, and the needs of the children are all relevant factors.
- Alimony: Also called spousal support, the court will look at several financial factors to determine whether, how much, and for how long one spouse must pay support to the other.
- Equitable Distribution: Courts in New York and New Jersey use equitable distribution principles to divide marital assets and debts. “Equitable” means fair, not necessarily equal, and is based on several statutory factors.
- Collaborative Divorce: Spouses can choose to collaborate, rather than treat the divorce as adversarial, and this approach is especially beneficial for middle and high-income spouses.
- Legal Separation: Obtaining a legal separation paves the way to divorce. It requires settling all outstanding issues arising out of the marriage and filing the separation agreement with the court.
- Family Offenses & Domestic Violence: Contrary to popular belief, many men are subject to domestic violence in their marriages. These offenses may affect issues related to marriage, such as child custody, and our firm will be a compassionate advocate for you. We also defend men against false allegations of domestic violence.
- Prenup & Postnup Agreements: These marital agreements are primarily used to determine how property and financial matters (e.g. equitable distribution and alimony) will be settled if the spouses ever divorce.
- Paternity: Many men are falsely accused of fathering children and then being told to financially support those children. Paternity testing can protect your financial interests as well as your rights to custody and visitation.
- Spousal & Child Relocation: If the other spouse has custody of your child and wishes to move out of New York or New Jersey, this will detrimentally impact your visitation rights. We’re here to fight for you.
Divorce Lawyer For Men: FAQs
How Long Does a Divorce Take?
The length of a divorce largely depends on how contentious the divorce is, whether the spouses have children together, and the economic factors like spousal support and property division. A divorce could be resolved in as little as six months or last well over a year, depending on the circumstances.
How Much Does a Divorce Lawyer for Men Cost?
This is also based on the issues involved and how amicable the spouses are. Our firm offers transparent and reasonable rates, and we give you realistic projections of how much your attorney fees may be.
How Much Does a Divorce Cost?
If your divorce involves financial matters like property division or child support, then the true cost of the divorce will be a separate matter from your lawyer fees. We explain the process and help men understand the realistic expectations they should have for what the divorce will cost them now and down the road.
Do You Have To Go To Court For a Divorce?
Although a judge must terminate the marriage and review certain matters (especially when children are involved), you do have the option of keeping court involvement to a minimum. This is where mediation will prove valuable. You can use mediation to resolve most issues fairly quickly and avoid lengthy and stressful trials and hearings.
Your Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be Overwhelming. Contact a Divorce Lawyer for Men Today.
Dow Divorce Law is a committed partner to husbands and fathers who are going through divorce. We know the issues that you are facing, and we know how important it is for you to have a dedicated attorney who counsels you each step of the way. If a case doesn’t turn out in your favor, we know how to properly appeal a family law case in a court of appropriate jurisdiction.
To schedule your strategy session with a divorce lawyer for men, call us or fill out our online contact form.
We proudly represent clients throughout Staten Island, including in Todt Hill, Princess Bay, Huguenot, Tottenville, Randall Manor, Lighthouse Hill, Annandale, Pleasant Plains, Great Kills, Bay Terrace, Grymes Hill, and Emerson Hill, as well as in Brooklyn. We also serve clients in Middlesex and Monmouth Counties from our office in Milltown.
